Reconsidering the "Good Life"

I watched a show on t.v. today called "Surviving the Cut". It's a show about military guys going through special forces training. It kind of struck me how awful the training looked. It was worse than I even imagined it could be. Kind of like all your fears coming to life. There they were, pushing themselves beyond what even they believed was humanly possible, and there I was, sitting on my couch eating a sandwich. What surprised me about it was that even though they were completely stressed out and fatigued, both mentally and physically, they, for the most part, remained positive about the experience. Throughout the whole thing they seemed to repeatedly comment about all the valuable lessons they were learning. They talked about how this terrible experience was making them stronger.

I hear people say stuff like that all the time. It's all over facebook and television, and everyday conversations. "Its the tough times that make you stronger", "There is always a valuable lesson to be learned". These statements are to tough times as "..and then I found five dollars" is to bad jokes.

This is the question I have:

If everyone seems to agree that the hard things only make us better, then why do we continuously strive for a life of comfort?

I feel like the clouds have parted, and I can hear angels singing or something. Seriously, total epiphany. I can't help but to praise God for this thought. I mean, goodness. Think about all the places life has taken us..the times when we sat and wished for a better life. Would you change it? No. Your life is what helped make you into who you are today.

I know that now you're probably thinking, "So what, you want me to run into chaos?" I admit it doesn't make sense. However, it makes perfect sense if you include God. A life lived for God does not look like comfort, but like chaos. THINK about who you could be, about who God could make you into if only you ran into his storm! It will not feel very nice, you may feel scared, your body will probably hate you, but when you emerge you will be resilient like gold, and shining like the pearls of Heaven.

Amazing.

God's plan for us is so great, and so overwhelming, How could anyone live life only for themselves? How could anyone not give everything to follow Him?

Please pray that we can all dismiss ourselves and run to Him. He is beautiful.

Making New Friends.

I would like to first put it out there that I am one of those people who looks down on those who choose to get a plant that "represents their relationship" or some stage in their life. People who give some guy who can even successfully make Ramen noodles something living with a note that reads something like "this plant will grow just like our love.." Blah blah blah. I need to put that out there, because I want you to know I'm not that person. However, recently I started decorating my new room and I thought that it would be nice to have a plant. So I went to Ross and found this really cute pot, and then bought the plant after work one day at good old Home Depot. Let me tell you it has been quite an ordeal. First of all, every road in Wilmington has a median (I hate them all!) and so fourty-five u-turns later my poor plant was dumped all over the floor in my car. Commence the vacuuming of the car. Then, I discovered that there was no hole in the bottom of my pot. Commence debate about proper drainage for a non-draining pot. We (Mary and I) decided that the best idea was to fill the bottom with rocks, though we had none, so that excess water would drain into the rocks and not drown the plant. Commence hike around the neighborhood in search of rocks. Still, I must admit when I got that stupid plant into place it looked pretty cute, and all the work I put into it only made it more endearing. Me and the plant had bonded, for sure. I placed it in my room where it is still pretty cluttered with stuff I have yet to put up from my move and it hit me that this plant was starting fresh. A new pot, a new location, a new purpose. Just like me. Aww.. So now this is my plant, and we are starting a new life together, and well I don't have any friends here yet so I have to make do okay?

Do you see now how cute it is?

Anyways, the move to North Carolina has been a fairly good one. I have always wanted to load up my car with everything I have and take off across country, and well, I did it. Honestly I didn't think I would do it at 20 years old, but life has never gone as I had planned. I have to say that I think driving here was a blast. Everyone told me, "Oh, how miserable", "You're insane, you'll probly fall asleep out of boredom", etc., etc.. It was the complete opposite. It was so exciting the whole way. America is beautiful, I got to stop and see friends and relatives that I would never normally get to see, I couldn't believe how much fun I was having. I stopped off at my roommate (from when I lived in Wales)'s house in Boone, NC which is high in the Appalachian Mountains. It was like a story book. There were windy roads, beautiful trees, antique shops. We went to Grandfather Mountain and Tweetsie Railroad. Ridiculous. Then I went from there to where I'm living in Wilmington, NC. Here we have the ocean, and it is glorious. We are surrounded by nature at my house. We have turtles, alligators, and squirrels that sit in little squirrel chairs. Check out this picture of the squirrel! So handsome.

Since I've been here I've started working at the Home Depot again, and I'm trying out this church called Port City Community Church, that I like so far. They seem really missions oriented, and also have an enormous college group. The small groups are starting up in the fall and I plan to join one of them.

I will not be starting college until next fall, however, I think that the time will go fast. For one, I'm going to Nairobi, Kenya to see my lovely sister this October, and in the summer I plan to meet up with my sisters in London, right in time for the 2012 Olympics! I hope. That said I will have to be buying tickets and making reservations SOON. Or else traveling there will be miserable during the Olympics, as well as expensive. Expensive is one thing I cannot yet do. Then there are the little things such as my parents coming to visit, and Mute Math coming to town on their new album debut tour. For those of you who don't know, Mute Math, besides being one of the best bands around, is my absolute FAVORITE band, and I will someday marry the band as a whole. Yes. I will.

Living with my Aunt Mary has been really great. She is very entertaining and she does cool things with me, like kayaking.

This particular location is Greenfield Lake. You might think it was named that because it looks strikingly like a green field, but of course, it is not named for that, and that is the unexciting case. It was very cool because there were tons of little water-passage ways to kayak in and out of while weaving through these sunken pine trees. It was very Louisiana. We had hoped to spot a gator, but we did not. Although we did see lots of turtles and birds. There happened to also be hordes of paddle-boaters out on the lake so kayaking enabled us to get away into more private areas where they couldn't fit. Can I also just say that there is no way to look cool in a paddle boat? Especially when you are wearing a life jacket. If there ever was a boat that would never, in any circumstance flip over, it is a paddle boat. It's a tale of people who routinely avoid anything thrilling seeking a thrill. Anyways, I'm hoping to maybe go sea kayaking soon. There are also a ton of really enticing inter-water ways (whatever you call them) that go behind peoples houses. It's how people get their boats to and from the ocean, but they look really fun to kayak in, and I'd like to try.

Anyways, that basically catches you up on what I've been up to lately. I was in a blogging mood, which is rare, so I seized the opportunity to share with you. I hope you come visit me, and we can hang on the beach and eat Squiggly's ice cream. It's my new favorite thing.

This would be the KitKat/Strawberry flavor. So good.

Love you all,

Audra

Noise

We live in a noisy world. Okay, example: I am sitting in what I would consider complete silence (aside from my typing..after all it is 2 in the morning), however, if I listen closely I can hear the sound of the air conditioning, my clicking fan, the hum of the washing machine, even the distant call of a train. Now picture me in the same spot during the day. Lawn mowers are buzzing outside, birds are chirping, the television is blaring, cars driving by, my mom is shouting to me from the other room, people in and out of the house - and that is all in a quiet suburban neighborhood. But I'm not even talking necessarily about the actual, physical noises in the world. I'm more talking about "noise" as in, our lives. I'm reading a book that says some people in 1965 actually made claims that free time was on the rise. They stated that American people would be able to work twenty-two hours a week and retire at age thirty-eight. Why? Technology. HAH! Instead, we create new technology for ourselves in order to cram more things into our day. What was it that these people had not considered? The hunger of the consumer. Lives grew louder as demands became greater. I used to find myself falling into that trap. As a high school student one semester I remember working two jobs, taking AP classes, participating in marching band, and practically running my youth group all at one time. I'd find myself sitting in some classes thinking about all the things I could be doing rather than listening to some boring teacher lecture. I remember first arriving in the UK and being absolutely put off that they would want to have tea every two hours. That particular experience overseas was especially beneficial to my daily life, and is something I've tried very hard to hold onto. I thought hard about it for awhile when I first began to think that the Brits' emphasis on taking breaks wasn't laziness after all. So I researched it a bit, and have had it all bouncing around in my head for awhile now. There are, in fact many instances in the Bible that would call us away from our busy American lives, if we would only take the moment to observe them. The one that stuck out to me, and was again mentioned in the book I am reading was in Matthew 5 where it simply says:

"Now when he saw the crowd He went up on the mountainside and sat down."

Before Jesus met the masses, he went up on the mountain just to sit. Before the disciples encountered the crowds they encountered Christ. There is a sacredness to silence, to rest. I often wonder how often we muffle the sound of our beloved Savior with the sounds of this busy world. I find value in tea time, because it is a time where I am forced to remove myself from whatever I am doing and rest. It is then that I can push away the roar of this world and encounter my Christ, who beckons me to follow Him to the quiet mountainside.

"My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely..."

Song of Solomon 2:14

Mansion of Glory

So, basically there is this house they are building in my neighborhood. It's a mansion..and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. They aren't done building it yet and I wanted more than anything to go inside and explore it, and imagine how perfect and picturesque it will look upon completion. However, every freaking time I'd try to go in it, my plans would be foiled. The construction guys would ALWAYS out there, or I'd get scared there is a hobo living inside, or the people across the street stare at me. Well, Saturday night I was determined that I would see this house. So me and my friends waited until it was dark and then we cautiously wandered over there. As soon as I crossed the threshold, my phone fell in between the partially made brick wall and the concrete slab..only to ruin my plans once again. We worked for probly thirty minutes at getting it out of that stupid crevice. And after rubing my poor phone all over the bricks wall, and then the cement wall, we finally got it out by using the leverage of a shovel to pull the bricks away from the concrete far enough to wedge a hand down and get it....stupid house. By the time we got it out we were too frustrated to go look around.

Anyways, in some way I feel as though that is like my life. I try so hard to see what God has planned for my future..but like the house, God just doesn't want me to see it yet. Yesterday in church we sang a hymn called "In His Time", which is a prayer asking for God to give us patience to wait for him. It also states that God will make all things beautiful in His time.

Yesterday I got to finally walk into the house and explore it. I had invited my friend Jeriah over along with his girlfriend who just moved into town in the hopes that I could get to know her better and make her feel welcome in our town and especially at our church. I wanted to make sure that I showed them a good time, and I was nervous because the only thing I can ever think to do is watch a movie. The house was the perfect ice breaker, it seemed. We went inside and walked around imagining the inside, and where all the rooms would be, as well as checking the views and assessing the overall value of a mansion like this. Then we walked around the neighborhood looking at houses and the clubhouse. It was great.

I feel like waiting is so hard. In fact I hate waiting. It's nice to know, however, that despite the discomfort there is something great at the end. That gives me hope. So maybe, with the start of school, and the start, once again, of my worries will be more bearable knowing that God has a plan for me, even if I don't know it. I can't imagine going through life without Him.

Chameleon Church

Hey, I know it has been awhile.

I'm having trouble. Because I'm beginning to think that we don't belong in churches. It doesn't really seem to make sense how we are supposed to witness these days - by inviting people to church. What we are doing is making people come to us, and when we arrive, we expect them to join us in the programs we have designed for ourselves. First they sing songs they don't know, with lyrics they don't understand, then they shake hands with people that are too happy to see them, after which the pastor will ask them to open up a book they don't have, and turn to a part they don't know how to get to. It occurred to me the other day that by inviting people to church, I might actually be turning them off to it.

This is what I do believe: that we as Christians should be the body of Christ reaching out openly to all people, everywhere. A whole unit, made up of people, just people, not denominations or associations.

And that we are not.

We are a giant frog, sitting on a hill, looking smug. Happy to snatch at the flies around it and look down upon the swamp below him. What we should be is a lizard, full of motion and the ability to adapt to all surroundings.

Not to say I don't love the church building I attend..I do. But I am frustrated. Because I feel as though we have hidden our identities in the pews of our churches, and forgotten our purpose here on earth.

I just want to do life with people. And maybe then they will see that I have something worth living for.

Matthew 28:19

Psalms 18

I love you, God - you make me strong. God is bedrock under my feet, the castle in which I live, my rescuing knight. My God - the high crag where I run for dear life, hiding behind the boulders, safe in the granite hideout. I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty, and find myself safe and saved. The hangman's noose was tight at my throat; devil waters rushed over me. Hell's ropes cinched me tight; death traps barred every exit. A hostile world! I call to God, I cry to God to help me. From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence - a private audience! Earth wobbles and lurches; huge mountains shake like leaves, Quake like aspen leaves because of his rage. His nostrils flare, bellowing smoke; his mouth spits fire. Tongues of fire dart in and out; he lowers the sky. He steps down; under his feet an abyss opens up. He's riding a winged creature, swift on wind-wings. Now he's wrapped himself in a trench coat of black-cloud darkness. But his cloud-brightness bursts through, spraying hailstones and fireballs. Then God thundered out of heaven; the High God gave a great shout, spraying hailstones and fireballs. God shoots his arrows - pandemonium! He hurls his lightnings - a rout! The secret sources of ocean are exposed, the hidden depths of earth lie uncovered The moment you roar in protest, let loose your hurricane anger. But me he caught - reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved - surprised to be loved! God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes. The good people taste your goodness, The whole people taste your health, The true people taste your truth, The bad ones can't figure you out. You take the side of the down-and-out, But the stuck-up you take down a peg. Suddenly, God, you floodlight my life; I'm blazing with glory, God's glory! I smash the bands of marauders, I vault the highest fences. What a God! His road stretches straight and smooth. Every God-direction is road-tested. Everyone who runs toward him Makes it. Is there any god like God? Are we not at bedrock? Is not this the God who armed me, then aimed me in the right direction? Now I run like a deer; I'm king of the mountain. He shows me how to fight; I can bend a bronze bow! You protect me with salvation-armor; you hold me up with a firm hand, caress me with your gentle ways. You cleared the ground under me so my footing was firm. When I chased my enemies I caught them; I didn't let go till they were dead men. I nailed them; they were down for good; then I walked all over them. You armed me well for this fight, you smashed the upstarts. You made my enemies turn tail, and I wiped out the haters. They cried "uncle" but Uncle didn't come; They yelled for God and got no for an answer. I ground them to dust; they gusted in the wind. I threw them out, like garbage in the gutter. You rescued me from a squabbling people; you made me a leader of nations. People I'd never heard of served me; the moment they got wind of me they listened. They came on their bellies, crawling from their hideouts. Live, God! Blessings from my Rock, my free and freeing God, towering! This God set things right for me and shut up the people who talked back. He rescued me from enemy anger, he pulled me from the grip of upstarts, He saved me from the bullies. That's why I'm thanking you, God, all over the world. That's why I'm singing songs that rhyme your name. God's king takes the trophy; God's chosen is beloved. I mean David and all his children - always.

Just A Few Notes

I don't really have any huge topic that I have been thinking about lately, just a few random thoughts that I have been thinking about, so bear with me.

1. Beth always says that everything relates to poop. And while that seems like an eeewwwyy weird concept, I'm beginning to see the truth of it. For instance: Poop, is one of those things we all experience. Most people have experienced the different side effects of the pooping process, and so therefore we can relate to each other in that way. Still, you don't normally, unless your oldest sister is my oldest sister, have conversations about your poop mishaps because even if the person has been through the same thing, its unpleasant to talk about. Well sometimes I think that is the way it is with the stuff I wish I could talk to people about. Not that what I want to talk about with people is gross in the same way, it just stuff you don't talk to with people because it sucks to talk about such things. I guess this can be misconstrued, so let me explain a little further. Its more like, frustrations with decisions that you can't talk about because they are a part of most people's lives. Poop topics, if you will.

2. A person's heart. The thing that is the command center of the emotional part of the being, right? But really just a muscle mass in charge of pumping our blood. When I envision the heart, I envision this workaholic organ who never gets to stop. I've had my share of workaholic people, and these are not the ones I want to be in control of my love life. Aside from that, thinking, and feeling doesn't come from the heart, but another section of our brain, which means that our brain is a living contradiction. Or maybe its just balanced/tried to be balanced. And, perhaps this is the reason opposites attract. I mean, our brain seems to be working out.

3. The only this else I have to say would be considered a poop topic. Which I hate.

Oh, and I'll add a picture for you guys, because you have earned it, I think.

I love light sculptures....